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Relationships > Keeping Separate Religions or Faith
 Posted by write2serve
Dec 13, 2006 07:10 PM
Keeping Separate Religions or Faith
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It happens often enough. Nice Jewish boy falls in love with a sweet Catholic girl. The Buddhist adores the atheist. The Amish man decides he can't live without his girlfriend who belongs to the Seventh Day Adventist. Love on the prowl doesn't go sniffing for religion. All it takes is a "meeting of the eyes" and boom, it's the love boat all over again. For many people, converting to the other's religion is no longer an issue; being allowed to keep the religion they grew up with speaks eloquently of society's ability for tolerance and understanding. Practicing two religions can even prove to be an enriching spiritual experience for two people in love.
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May give rise to arguments and discord
Just as it is wholesome and encouraging to have lively discussions between people of mixed religions, their spiritual orientations can also be a source of misunderstanding and conflict. For example, arguments may erupt over church schedules where one parent has to stay home and look after the kids while one goes off to worship. Arguments can also stem from issues relating to the kids’ upbringing or education or when one spouse becomes a religious fanatic and mocks or ridicules the loved one’s beliefs.
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Could make children confused
When parents are of two different faiths and then children are asked to participate in ceremonies and rituals of both religions, they could become confused. Not only will there be confusion at home where mom and dad teach non-similar values and beliefs, but there is bound to be confusion also in school. That the home and family are no longer the places where spiritual values are transmitted to children is a growing phenomenon and sometimes, the task of spiritual instruction is left to the school or to the congregation. When children get mixed signals from the home, church and school and from their peers, confusion can reign in their minds.
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Family members may be less accepting of a spouse with different religious beliefs
Let’s face it. There are broad-minded people in this world, and there are the narrow-minded. Given a lack of exposure to cultures and a lack of education, people can dangerously turn into bigots and intolerant beings. One circumstance that lends itself to this is when a family member marries an individual of a different faith. People look at any kind of change with suspicion, so the incoming family member with a different set of spiritual beliefs is not trusted or is believed to “taint” the entire herd with his/her religious convictions.
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There could be a “spiritual divide”
The “spiritual divide” that we refer to here applies more to certain religious where practices are radically different from ours. In the Muslim world, for example, the Koran dictates the kind of life the spouse can lead. The man can have more than one wife. If a western woman falls in love with a Muslim, she must make it a point to find out where he stands on certain issues to avoid being shell-shocked. Will she be able to accept the fact that she may not be the only wife in his life?
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There may be impediments to the union
In certain religions, mixed religion marriages are frowned upon because they are seen to be disruptive of one’s spiritual life. Among the many reasons offered of why interfaith marriages are discouraged are: the belief that two religions can sow confusion in offspring causing them to suffer from psychological stress; some religions view their marriage rules as originating from God, and other religions believe that having two systems of religious beliefs can constitute grounds for major marital problems and hence increase the divorce rate. One religion, in particular – the Druze – are described as close communities and prohibit the entry of new members, even via marriage or conversion.
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Freedom of worship at its best
Modern society is supposed to be tolerant of different lifestyles and different faiths. We have evolved to a point where we should accept that people from diverse backgrounds nurture a set of values and beliefs that are different from ours. Freedom to worship must be accorded full respect so that it can help the believer to blossom spiritually. If the government gives us the freedom to worship, why should our spouse take that away from us? By allowing our loved one to practice whatever religion he chooses, we are telling him that we respect his beliefs 100%.
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Couples can lead more enriching lives, thanks to two religions
When couples interact on a spiritual level, much can be learned. By discussing how they would approach a problem based on what their religion has taught them, analyzing the problem and finding solutions are facilitated. By having a second opinion, the dynamics of the relationship are enhanced. There is nothing like being generous of mind and body. Charity begins at home, as they say, so this charitableness must extend to our loved one’s faith.
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