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Being > Lying To A Friend > CONs
 Posted by Miss_J
Dec 05, 2006 11:24 AM
Lying To A Friend
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Friendship is built on trust. The strongest friendships can withstand the test of both time and distance, outlast many romantic relationships and act as a grounding force in our lives. Is it ever OK to lie to a friend? Now, I'm not talking about the "yes, I just LOVE your new haircut" or "hands-down your son is the best player on the field" type of lie. No no. I mean the "I saw your husband kissing another woman", "No, I didn't break off the affair even though I swore that I did", "I think your new girlfriend is great (but I did see her stripping at the local club last weekend)" kind of lie. Whether to protect your friend's feelings or to protect your own-is it ever OK to lie to a friend?
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| CONs |
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| Conflicts With Your Moral Standard |
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| Perhaps you choose, as a matter of practice, not to lie. Not even white lies. If you hate the haircut, you have no problem saying so. When lying to your friend becomes the only logical decision, will you be able to live with yourself afterwards? |
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| Guilt |
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| Personal feelings of guilt will vary from person to person and the severity of the lie. There is a certain window of time to tell the truth. After this window closes, telling the truth is futile. It may become very difficult to sustain the lie over the long term. These feelings of guilt could have unexpected and long lasting effects on the friendship. |
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| Loss of Trust |
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| Consider the little boy who cried wolf. This classic story embodies the worst part about lying-it's hard to TRUST a liar. Even if your friend forgives the lie, it may take a lot of time and effort on your part to regain their trust. There is also the possibility that your friend will never trust you again the way they did before. |
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| Getting Caught |
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| Getting caught in a lie is never easy. Getting caught lying to a friend is especially hard. This person that looks to you for guidance, help and honesty may have a hard time accepting that you lied for noble reasons. |
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| Destroy the Friendship |
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| In some cases, it can take years to cultivate trust within a friendship. A lie has the potential to destroy that trust in one split second. What you consider to be admirable reasons for lying, your friend may see as downright betrayal. Ask yourself, is the lie worth the cost of the friendship? |
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